5 Myths About Bedwetting

Commonly held beliefs about children's health issues run the gamut from old wives' tales and superstition to neighborhood gossip and exaggeration. One such issue is childhood bedwetting — a condition that is often overly scrutinized and wrongfully criticized. Today we'd like to set the record straight on five of the biggest myths surrounding bedwetting. 

*Portions of this piece originally appeared in Denise Mann's WebMD feature, Bedwetting Myths Debunked

1. Myth: Bedwetting is Your Child's Fault

Although bedwetting can be a frustrating issue for parents, it's neither constructive nor accurate to blame the child. In fact, in a WebMD Feature by Denise Mann titled "Bedwetting Myths Debunked," Charles I. Shubin (Director of the Children's Health Center at Mercy Family Care in Baltimore, MD) says "It makes matters worse when parents yell and scream at their children for what they do in their deep sleep." Alan Greene, M.D., an Assistant Clinical Professor of Pediatrics at Stanford University in Stanford, CA, agrees. Greene states that a blaming mindset on the part of the parents often leads to negative responses and punishment, which are the worst possible outcomes for a bedwetting child. 

2. Myth: Bedwetting is Not Normal

Actually, bedwetting is normal. In children under the age of 6, it's a common issue. Even beyond age 6, bedwetting (or primary nocturnal enuresis) affects approximately 5-7 million children (WebMD). Dr. Greene says, "Bedwetting is very common in younger kids, in fact, it is so common that it is even considered normal before age 5. Nighttime dryness is the last part of toilet learning that kids achieve. At ages 6 and below, bedwetting only needs to be addressed if the child is feeling really bad about himself as a result," he adds. In fact, the bladder-to-brain signal that adults feel or sense even while dreaming isn't strong enough in many children to wake them out of a deep sleep. It's simply a developmental issue that most children will grow out of. 

3. Myth: Your Child is Just Lazy

Along with blaming a child for wetting the bed as if it's something that he or she should be able to control, some parents take it a step further by accusing a child of deliberate laziness. Many experts would assure these parents that children do not enjoy waking up to wet, smelly sheets and the associated discomfort and embarrassment. If a child could prevent his or herself from wetting the bed, it would largely be a non-issue. When moms and dads begin to attack and criticize a child on a personal level, it causes feelings of guilt and shame, which could exacerbate the problem. In some cases, when there are other issues going on at home with family, there may be emotional and psychological factors at play which could act as potential triggers and should be clinically evaluated. 

4. Myth: Your Child Can Never Have Sleepovers

Also not true. There are resources for families with children affected by bedwetting, and they can be quite helpful in preventing an incident while away from home or during special occasions. Urine flow reduction medications may be used occasionally to help decrease the likelihood of an accident, and portable, absorbent products like the discreet Just-In-Case 360 Wetness Protector are made to accompany children when leaving the house in order to provide confidence and comfort. Common sense lifestyle changes such as changing bedtime by a half hour or reducing fluid, sugar and caffeine intake at night are also things that parents can share with other parents to ensure a same-page approach to managing bedwetting. Remember: accidents happen, but not everyone needs to know. 

5. Myth: Punishment is the Answer

False, false, false. Resorting to punishment as a means to achieve dryness is not the right way to go. Dr. Greene agrees that what bedwetting children need most is compassion, understanding and encouragement, not penalties. The rate of bedwetting in children decreases by more than 50% between the ages of 5 and 10, which is a direct correlation to many children simply growing out of wetting the bed. Though a child may be too young to understand what's happening to them, or the clinical explanation that he or she may not be producing enough ADH hormone (WebMD), parents can be allies by offering reassurance through this awkward portion of their child's development. An alternative to punishment is the exact opposite — a reward system. Consider using an external motivator, like a star chart or a prize to keep track of consecutive dry nights. 

The myths and rumors that circulate about bedwetting and other common issues often prevent children from getting adequate care and treatment, or cause their parents and even themselves to harbor misconceptions and negative feelings about the condition. Whenever in doubt parents should turn to an expert with questions, but understanding and sympathy toward children should always be the first response.